This is a rather rambly post, not a polemic.
Classism. It’s a word with a long history, but something I read in a WoW community elsewhere kind of gave me a little light bulb moment.
If you want to put someone down in WoW, do it based on their actions and behaviour, not on guesses about their living situations. ‘Basement-dweller’ as an insult takes on a new meaning when more people than ever before are unable to pay the rent due to unemployment. Folk who can move back in with their parents are the lucky ones – pooling resources in this economy is a sensible course of action even if you have been able to find work. If it was more practical, travel wise, I’d rather move in with my parents than apply for housing benefit.
Being single, or have a lower paid job doesn’t make an individual less worthy of respect. Saying thoughtless and horrible things, and ninjaing crap and being generally inconsiderate is what deserves our derision as players. While ‘basement-dweller’ is the traditional insult reserved for the stereotyped geek, today it just kinda smacks of classism. I’m not going to tell you that ‘basement-dweller’ is anywhere NEAR the level of ableist, racist or sexist slurs, but the attitude that drives the insult is worth thinking about.
(And if you like using similar phrases, no need to post to defend yourself, because I really don’t care.)
I ended up living with my parents for a while a few years ago, after suffering a breakdown. I wasn’t capable of living on my own. I had no money (I had debts) and no where else to go, because my partner had lost his job and we were facing time apart anyway. Once you’re stuck in a hole of unemployment, especially due to a mental health issue, it is desperately hard to dig yourself out again. I was playing WoW at the time. I owned a computer from when I did have some money, and my £9-a-month sub was cheaper than going out. For a long time, WoW was my only social outlet. Those few pounds a month were much cheaper than travelling to town to see a friend, and didn’t trigger my social anxiety (which was severe at the time.) Living with my parents was my only choice. I will admit that ‘living with parents’ as an insult did sting a bit then. I was young, I was supposed to be starting a family and paying a mortgage. Instead I was working my slow way towards functionality. I know better now.
I guess this is part of the reason that ‘no-lifer’ as an insult thrown at a raider so annoys me, but then it’s a pretty nonsensical insult all round. I know it’s part of the eternal cut-and-thrust that is the casual v hardcore debate, but really?
I was extremely lucky that I did have my parents, and my partner, to make sure I was safe. Some people don’t have that option. There are many reasons for one to be a ‘basement-dweller’, but it isn’t a true measure of self-worth. I should remember that.
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1
Rhii at http://ohmykurenai.com
This is a great post. I know that I really have to watch what I say about this, because it’s personal to me. My boyfriend is living with his parents right now because they live within easy commuting distance of his school and he’s a full time student. It’s very hard on him when people unthinkingly call him a loser constantly when the whole point of living there is that he’s trying very hard to make a career change in his 30s that will be hugely beneficial for him down the road. He does feel that his address reflects his self worth, which is sad. I believe a much greater indication of his worth is that he recognized he needed to make the change and has made it happen. That responsibility, and the willingness to be frugal and compromise really speaks so much more loudly about who he is than where he parks his car.
It may not be the most hurtful or bigoted thing you could say about someone, but it does sting to hear it, and it IS very ingrained in gamer culture. I know I often find myself backpedaling when it slips out.
Thanks for another excellent post, Pewter.
Posted at March 29, 2011 on 4:23pm.
2
Shizukera Nightfury at http://shizukera.com/blog/
Having lived with my mother post-college because my job paid so poorly I couldn’t afford food after I paid my rent (and feeling like a complete failure for it), then in the basement of my cousin’s house when I moved to DC because DC is frickin’ expensive and at my starting grade I couldn’t afford my own place (even now I share an apartment with a roommate), it just…I don’t know. Seeing that thrown around as an insult is like being kicked in the nose. We don’t always have a choice.
Thank you so much for this post, and I’m glad things are going better for you. <3
Posted at March 29, 2011 on 4:32pm.
3
Zanaji
Hehe. I always laugh when someone calls me a basement-dweller. I DO live in the basement, but I picked it. Working the overnight shift means it stays dark when I’m trying to sleep, and between hot summer and cold winter, my room is the most pleasant and temperate in the house.
Posted at March 29, 2011 on 4:34pm.
4
Pewter at http://mentalshaman.com
I suppose one of the ‘things’ behind it is that not living up to some sort of level of normal allows people to dismiss you as less valuable, rather than picking apart what you’ve said.
Posted at March 29, 2011 on 5:12pm.
5
RosaAmarilla
I’ve never known that phrase to be about people who live with their parents, so much as a stereotype of a certain level of “loser”. I suppose it’s possible the meaning has changed over time. l probably have a very late-80s/early-90s understanding of it. I’ve always known it to be referring to the idea of someone who lives rent-free in their parents’ basement because they spend whatever money they have on comics and games, and act like Mom should supply them with free housing, food, and a never-ending supply with clean laundry while also “respecting their privacy” and never coming down into the basement to disturb them for any reason. And never aspiring to more in life.
That’s still a huge label to slap on someone, and your point about it stands. But really, what’s “normal” depends on where you’re from. Where I’m from, renting isn’t the norm for adults. It’s for young adults who are saving for a house and poor people who would love to be saving for a house. Where my husband is from, renting is very common and no one thinks twice about it. It’s also common for a couple of branches of extended family to live together to share expenses, whereas where I’m from you’re expected to have moved out on your own by the time you’re 20.
Posted at March 29, 2011 on 5:50pm.
6
Pewter at http://mentalshaman.com
well, ‘live in own place in general’ whether you’re renting or paying the mortgage. What I was really referring to there was being ‘separate’ or ‘independent’ of your parents/guardians. I’m aware that rent/owning is expected at different ages (or not at all) depending on geographic location.
And yes, ‘basement-dweller’ definitely comes in context with the geek/comics/spotty/teenager thing. I would say that sometimes it feels divorced from that, as people realise that it really IS a huge range of people using the internet. In gamer culture today it’s generally just thrown around with ‘no-lifer’ . It retains a little of the ‘historical’ geek/slacker implication, but these days ‘geek’ is rather mainstream and I feel that a lot of the terminology has to be looked at in a wider context than it used to be.
Posted at March 29, 2011 on 6:07pm.
7
Chawa
One of the best decisions in my life was to move back home to live with the parents. The money I saved then is the sole reason I was able to put a downpayment on my first house later in life.
@ Rhii ~ So kudos to your BF!!
Ironically, when I lived with my folks, my room was in the basement. Now, in my own house, we currently play WoW in the basement so technically, I am a still basement dweller.
I often laugh if I see such terms being used as an insult. To me, it’s a situation of the pot calling the kettle black because we’re all playing the same game.
Posted at March 29, 2011 on 7:44pm.
8
Saz at http://serenitysaz.blogspot.com/
It’s honestly kind of crazy how much of your past is parallel to what I’m currently going through. It’s definitely a struggle to try and live on your own with absolutely no income while dealing with a social anxiety. I was fortunate enough to have a boyfriend who more or less supported me for quite a while, and a mother who saw that I no longer had groceries in the house and decided to pitch in. Now I’m living with my father until I can get things righted in my life, and I’m thankful that both of my parents have been wonderful enough to help me out with my school bills.
I suppose I’d be considered a “basement dweller” simply because I’m unable to go out and get a job, and do not have the option to live on my own. Quite frankly I’d happily take the insult simply because the alternative isn’t pretty, and I’m fortunate enough to be able to depend on my family during a very rough patch in my life. I don’t understand why some folks have so much hate towards those who are having a down moment in their life…are they jealous of those of us who are lucky enough to have a safety net?
Quite frankly I wish we could somehow do away with the whole “better than thou” attitude that not only exists in games, but in life in general. All it does is breed animosity, which of course isn’t healthy for any of the parties involved.
I fully agree with your post, and I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. Thank you very much for posting it!
Posted at March 29, 2011 on 11:57pm.
9
Nonny at http://nonnycat.livejournal.com
I’ve always been bothered by the basement-dweller comments. There are MANY situations that result in adult children moving back in with their parents, many of them not their fault. One of my best friends was fired from her job three years ago due to her disability (of course, there was no way to prove it), and her health rapidly deteriorated to the point she wasn’t able to work. Applying for disability in the States takes a long fucking time, and she had to move back in with her mother and stepfather because it was that or be homeless. She has only just gotten approval for her disability, after three years.
Then you have people like my boyfriend, who didn’t move out until he was in his 40s because he was caring for his disabled mother who later developed cancer, needed care, and couldn’t afford to pay someone to do it.
There are many situations, and comments like “basement-dweller” are just hurtful to people who may have a fucking legitimate reason for needing to stay with their parents. I’m having trouble getting the boyfriend to apply for disability himself, because his family that wouldn’t lift a finger to help the mother that they claimed to love so much, has branded him a leech and basement-dwelling manipulator who scammed his mother out of her money (mind, he was supporting her because her social security paid shit). It’s fucked up, and I would seriously like to hear less of it.
Posted at March 30, 2011 on 2:46am.
10
gevlon at http://greedygoblin.blogspot.com
Now I’ll be the bad guy (as always). I don’t see any “ism” in “basement dweller”. It’s calling someone what he is AT HER OWN FAULT. It’s like calling an imprisoned crimial “imprisoned criminal”.
It IS an offensive, demeaning term, but hey, don’t get to prison if you don’t want to be called that way. Don’t want to be called basement-dweller? Get a job!
Posted at March 30, 2011 on 12:48pm.
11
Pewter at http://mentalshaman.com
@Gevlon Well, that’s kind of the ‘attitude’ use of that slur points to – not having a job is not always a choice. Again, I’m not saying that everyone should purge the term from their vocab, just that it is part of attitudes rooted in classism (which is linked to attitudes to unemployment) and ableism (again). As pointed out by several commenters – there are socio-economic AND health reasons for living with ones parents, being unemployed. The phrase boils down to calling someone a slacker, which is all very well and good when someone IS, but attitudes against the unemployed/folk on welfare are kind of toxic.
Posted at March 30, 2011 on 1:19pm.
12
Jen at http://www.storiesofwow.com
My perspective is the same as RosaAmarilla’s. With the usual disclaimers about not being a native speaker, I’ve always taken it to refer to people who *willingly* live on their parents’ money, because they’re just too lazy to get a job and move out.
Posted at March 30, 2011 on 1:07pm.
13
gevlon at http://greedygoblin.blogspot.com
The point is exactly that I believe that EVERY SINGLE welfare leech is a slacker or a moron. Being employed/unemployed is not important (everyone is unemployed now and then), the question is does he live on his own savings while between jobs or on someone else’s.
The question is are you able to support yourself or are you leeching on others?
Posted at March 30, 2011 on 3:12pm.
14
Pewter at http://mentalshaman.com
@gevlon See, you’re starting at ‘welfare leech’ and I’m talking about the general disdain for anyone who happens to be in a situation where they cannot work, or cannot afford their own accommodation. The thing about moaning about folk who are fraudulently on benefits, or too lazy to work is that both the moaners and the true slackers make it harder and more stigmatised for the folk who have no choice. The assumption that the random stranger in a BG is a basement-dwelling adultesecent who refuses to grow up has SPILLOVER when you consider the millions of people who have disabilities thus require care and/or are unable to work, or people who are on minimum wage jobs and living paypacket to paypacket. Being on benefits, living with parents, being unable to work is stigmatised. I would also wager that the number of people in these circumstances far outweigh the number of ‘slacker leeches’ that the insult imagines.
tl:dr this post was about how the attitude to ‘slackers’ spills over to folk who legitimately have no other choice. Not about how ‘basement-dwellers’ is a slur against folk who chose to spend all their parent’s money on computer games.
Posted at March 30, 2011 on 3:44pm.
15
Ophelie at http://bossypally.wordpress.com
I wonder if there’s a bit of the “grass is greener” syndrome at play when people look down on those receiving social services, or who are unemployed, or who need some extra help.
Personally, I can say that during times where I’m juggling MS symptoms (aka sleeping 12-16 hours a day), going to class, cramming for exams, trying to make ends meet while attempting to maintain somewhat of a social life, I’m extremely resentful of those who don’t have their days booked to the second. Even if, in reality, playing WoW for most of the day is actually far less pleasant than being extremely busy.
Posted at March 30, 2011 on 8:16pm.
16
Soulfloater
Anyone who actively seeks out others to put down is a low quality human being to begin with.
And let’s not forget….
No Basement Dwellers = No Video Games
So a gamer, or anybody for that matter, who calls a dweller a dweller as some last ditch effort to feel better about himself is really only revealing the true nature of their own character.
Posted at March 30, 2011 on 8:24pm.
17
Kazgrel at http://stormearthandfire.wordpress.com
The whole “basement-dweller” and/or “no lifer” insults are incredibly ridiculous, if you ask me. I personally know far too many people who play this game and own their own homes/business/etc., have families, and all sort of other things that wouldn’t be possible if one were bad off enough to have to move into someone’s basement or whatever.
Ironically enough, I often hear such insults flung in the direction of folks who are in hardcore raid guilds and have tons of in-game accomplishments, yet having spoke with many of them, they too also have successful careers and/or families and whatnot. They are simply good at playing WoW and are in guilds with like-minded peers.
Basically it strikes me as there being a lot of jealousy and e-peenery (if that even makes sense, heh) in the WoW community.
Posted at April 8, 2011 on 12:36am.
18
Chloe at http://www.pocketheals.com
Like similar posts above, the term is used for people who repeatedly and willingly state that they have no intention of getting a job. Now THAT rubs me the wrong way, and I will call people out when they are abusing someone’s good graces.
Living with another person and maintaining a job and school is fine. Living with someone while maintaining a job is also fine. The job can be caring for someone, or getting a paycheck. But living with someone while NOT maintaining a job or pitching in for anything…no. Not fine. I don’t care what your degree is in. Get a damn job at a convenience store. My mother worked in the food industry to pay for college. She became a RN, got married, had me, and I graduate in Dec. with a geoscience degree and could never thank her enough. The one way I did and do thank her though, is by always keeping a steady job, whether it’s the on campus convenience store (which was a very humbling experience, btw) or now, in a plush office where I have a lot of monetary responsibility to a company. Either way, I will always be ready to step in should my parents need help. Should a friend need help, when I have my apartment in 1 month (WHOOP), I will gladly share my room with them while they get settled as long as they maintain a job. I will also gladly support and give money to those who are disabled, elderly, children, (under 18), or extremely sick. But as far as “unemployment” goes…sometimes people just need to lower their standards and go apply at the convenience store for a dose of reality. Well-paying jobs are not entitlements, they are hard-earned and hard-maintained. Sorry for the rambling…
Posted at April 21, 2011 on 11:51pm.
19
Matojo at http://www.trollbouquet.ca
Thank you for this post.
When I first went out into the workforce, my first place was a basement apartment – it was close to work, and on my salary it was the best that I could afford. Less than a year after purchasing my first house I was informed that my skills were no longer needed at my job, and in this economy I can’t pay somebody to hire me – I face the possibility of having to sell and move in with my family if I can’t get a job before EI runs out. At least, with renting rooms out, I can manage on minimum wage … but someone has to hire me first.
It feels shitty enough when one has no choice but to live with family, or to live in what amounts to a cave, but having your living arrangements – the best that you can manage at the time – used as an insult is even shittier. Unfortunately, people on the internet can’t be arsed to give a damn about people other than themselves and it is incredibly frustrating.
Oi.
Posted at April 27, 2011 on 8:17pm.
20
Vrykerion at http://oddcraft.wordpress.com
I know I’m a bit late to the party on this one, but I figured I’d add my two cents to this.
I am 28 years old and I live in my parent’s basement. There. Said it.
I live there because since graduating college two years ago, and getting a job at a bookstore, 4/5ths of my rather meager paycheck goes to paying off student loans and other debts. I can’t afford an apartment, and even if I could afford to split one with someone, I couldn’t afford food and utilities then. I work 30 hours a week, I do freelance web design on top of that, and I chip in to help with the house expenses whenever I can. I am not a leech, I don’t collect welfare, and I certainly don’t view myself as any kind of loser (except for maybe regretting not switching my major from ‘Creative Writing’ to ‘Computer Sciences’)
Still, there is without a doubt that on top of all of that, there is a hefty stigma in mentioning that at the age of 28 you live with your folks (the basement is my choice. I’ve lived in basements since I was 14. I LIKE it there.), and the fact that I enjoy things like D&D, WoW and video games doesn’t help the matter. I find myself trying NOT to mention the fact of where I live to anyone until it is absolutely necessary. It’s not easy and it has led me down into some spells of depression at times.
All that said, I’d just like to say thank you for this post. It brought a smile to my face to see that other people DO get it and that I’m not alone in this situation.
Posted at May 26, 2011 on 9:01pm.